Are You A People Pleaser? (this is to all the people pleasers out there including myself)
People-pleasers “want everyone around them to be happy and they will do whatever is asked of them to” I know I am it took me years to acknowledge that. Here I am, an independent, successful woman with a mind of my own. How can I be a people pleaser?
“They put everyone else before themselves,” For some, saying “yes” is a habit; for others, “it’s almost an addiction that makes them feel like they need to be needed.” This makes them feel important and like they’re “contributing to someone else’s life.”
You get so tired of pleasing everybody else in your life, don’t you? and so do I. I am this someone who will go to any lengths to keep from hurting another person or being negative around them in any way. Naturally do to this what happens is that you swallow alot of your pride. People pleasers don’t realize is that people pleasing can have serious risks. Not only does it put a lot of pressure and stress on you, but “essentially you can make yourself sick from doing too much.” It makes you over-committed!
“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”
Aren’t you fed up of allowing others to treat you in any way they wish? Aren’t you tired of yearning for outside validation? It’s time to know and remember that your personal feeling of security and self-confidence is based on getting the approval of you not others.
There’s a BIG difference between wanting to do nice things for people and feeling pressure to do them – all the time and sometimes or always at the expense of yourself. Because of that we sometimes experience a lot of anxiety in our life.
So, what will you/I do about it?
- focus on YOU
- establish BOUNDARIES
- start saying “NO”
- realize that you have a choice
- set your priorities
- set a time limit
- consider if you are being manipulated
As a people’s pleaser, my vocabulary was rich with affirmatives such as: yeah, sure, okay, absolutely, no problem. My mouth just couldn’t seem to form the consonant-vowel combination required to say “No,” I would get stuck at “Nnnnnnn… alright.” Which meant I was doing all kinds of things that I didn’t want to, have to, or have time to do. It’s time to say No and mean it and stop people-pleasing forever
Dont be a people pleaser be a people helper ….
Wanting another’s approval is healthy. Needing it is sick. You can’t please all the people even some of the time.